A lot of people I know like to go to Atlantic City for the weekend. Most of these people are poker players, there to play some live poker rather than sit with a nice cold can of tab on a Sunday and play in the Stars million or something. They are fucking nuts.

The rest though, have this crazy thought in their head that Atlantic City is some glorious Disney Land for 22 year olds, rather than the Euro Disney for geriatrics that it is.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Atlantic City - as a family destination. That’s right I said it, FAMILY destination. My mom loves the slot machines, my brother and sister do to, and we go, and talk and smile and that’s really that. Get a nice-ish dinner somewhere and then go watch an $18 movie in the hotel room. When I go with my dad we do the typical “fuck yeah live poker is gonna be awesome” on the way down and the “well that was fun but we should have played online and gotten a real steak in Manhattan” on the way home. Standard male bonding.

Now Vegas, I’ll give you Vegas. Vegas is a pretty snappy place, with big ass towers, celebrities out and about - but like anything else you have to be in the right spots. Atlantic City? You have like 4 spots to be in. Don’t go outside unless you want to see what a real hooker looks like (you do NOT). Sure, they have their events there and such. But c’mon. It’s in New Jersy.

It’s in New Jersey.

All I’m saying is don’t expect much when you go there. If you go with your friends I’m sure you’ll have a great time.

First thing’s first - give credit where credit is due.

Hoyt Corkins is a pretty old school dude. Has a reputation to be a big spew monkey, wears a cowboy hat, and sucks on a cigar the whole tourny - very clean cut dude.

TJ (or TeeJay) i a short dude with a loud laugh who likes to party. He played the $10k LHE even in a very bright pink sweatshirt.

He was the reason Hoyt was steaming. Hoyt c/r’d him in a KQTcc board, TJ called. The board runs double paired and Hoyt bets, TJ raises, Hoyt hums and hahs and folds what I’m pretty sure what 8c3c, TJ rolls over 55 and Hoyt kept telling me how he “can’t call!” Thereafter Hoyt went on to spew vs. me and get there once, twice, three times a lady. I don’t know why I’m reliving this.

Had my biggest day of ‘08 yesterday (ship ship).

Oh something I also really wanted to get out there - DeathDonkey cheats at gin. He is a gin cheater.

Wors JW post ever but I’m tired I’ll be back later.

Ice something said that in Anaconda. A fantastic tale of large snakes out in the middle of nowhere. I guess they were hunting for treasure or something, which in the end was protected by cgi snakes. Never seen one of those in real life.

Anyway, now that I am in the town of internet I’ll be blogging a lot more regularly. To catch you up on the past weeks since my last post:

1. The 10k LHE was brutal. I came into day 2 with a bunch of chips, well not really. Then I won a bunch of chips. They Hoyt “I am steaming because people are showing me bluff” Corkins took all my chips in 5 hands. IMO I played all of the hands perfectly.
2. Um, $50k HORSE I was chip leader @ one point on day 1. Day 2 I wasn’t happy with some of my play in a few LHE pots but that didn’t really matter. I couldn’t win any stud hands of any sort. I actually ran pretty well and played good in O8. I reviewed every reasonably tough decision in my stud hands and it ends up I made a mistake or 2 but the best part is if I did make my loose peels in some spots I still would have bricked (results oriented FTW). Come to think of it is was just one hand.
3. The Main Event sucked. I didn’t win any hands. Played good imo.

Now I’m out of Vegas. That’s about that.

And don’t worry, I won’t blog about poker.

Vegas is crazy. I’m putting this in Manhattan Adventures because I’m not in Manhattan right now and feel like a fish out of water. So for this adventure we’ll run through Vegas like the she-devil harpy that she is.

Las Vegas is hot. I know it’s in the desert or whatever and I should have known that. But it is hot outside. Like > 100 degrees (that’s Fahrenheit you crazy Euros! Viva la resistance!). You think you come ready, then you realize you’re walking around in a casino all day anyway. I’m wearing a black hooded sweatshirt right now and jeans. No joke imo.

Living off the strip is creepy. When you’re on the strip, you just assume people don’t live here. Then you tell people you’re living here for the summer and they like let you into their little world of Vegas. Apparently they don’t all live in the casinos and completely disappear when they’re not working. At least it isn’t Atlantic City, where you hope for the safety and well being of your dealer that they actually do that after their shift is over.

I haven’t seen a single hooker. Last time I was in Vegas they were hitting the streets like extras from West Side Story. Not today. I guess that means I’m moving up in the world - when the hookers blend in a bit more. Because let’s face it, I’ve seen them, I’m just too dumb to know.

People walk all over Vegas. What’s that about? Each casino is like ridiculously far apart. There are some weird casinos

I’ve REALLY gotten a kick of going up to te big name pros and saying hey to them. But more than that, I’d go up to the pros that you’d only really know if you knew a lot about poker and saying hello to them, but like on a first name basis. David Benyamine was the best - I went up to him and just said “Hey David” and he like froze in his tracks. Was pretty epic imo.

Anyway, $10k LHE today. Go me.

Alliteration is the key to the every man bevery man way of existence. I’m blogging live here from the capital of tilt - the 2008 World Series of Poker. Like I’m literally sitting in the main room, televised final table on my right, not so televised final table @ about 1 o’clock, and COMPLETE DONKEYS @ high noon.

Wow. People are bad @ this game. Let’s just stop there poker is not dead blah blah blah.

So you guessed it, this will be a slightly poker oriented post for now so if that’s not your cup of tea cut the mustard and come back in a bit.

I’ve played little to no live poker out here. My tourney trip reports will be coming in audio blog format. I’m going to hopefully play the $10k LHE tomorrow, then plan on playing the $1500 LHE shootout, and the $1500 HORSE. But who knows. If I told you I thought about stuff like that this far ahead of time you’d know this wasn’t me posting and was actualy this dude in front of me wearing a PUNISHER Jersey. I didn’t know Marvel’s “The Punisher” played sports. I thought he was off killing people or punishing or whatever.

Anyway, the games out here are sick from what I’ve seen and played in. Deathdonkey is a more seasoned live pro than me and plays in horrible $100/$200 games. I played in a $30/$60 that made the stars $1/$2 seem tough. But that was really it. With DeucesCracked kicking but I’ve been super busy in a good way.

Anyway, crazy post on the way.

Rob said this. To me. Not kidding. Just said it.

“Meh that wizard won’t help you.”

Not making a joke.

Context, though necessary, is not permitted.

http://justicewagon.com/?page_id=83

If ever there was a place to jump back on the justicewagon it would of course be the red eye coming back from Seattle after a week of DeucesCracked glory with Chris “I knock with 0 after 3 draws” DeathDonkey, Joe “Keep me away from beachballs” Tall, Rob “Ninjas or bust” Entity, Aaron “You don’t know who I am because I don’t play poker” Marketting Guy, Dan “I has a pair” DJ Sensei, and of couse - Jonas “I am not some old time gambler” RiverBoatKing.

Luckily the chick next to me has a mask on. She’s got one of those awesome “fuck off I’m napping” things on, but then again so do I (resting above my eyes). I was trying to sleep then the chick next to me found it in her best interest to rest her foot on my chair.

Hi Chuck, I’m going to take the space off the 6 inch seat you’re currently propped up on and just fuck you over for the whole weekend. See, I have an awesome weekend coming up. But I decided it’s going to be dictated by the flight. Now, if i was smart I wouldn’t let it dictate my weekend. But then again if I was smart I wouldn’t think mixing beer and ice cream is a good idea. I don’t. So that makes me smart. Wait.

I’m seriously ready to open the emergency exit door, watch this skinny chick fly through at around 110 mph, close it back up, and high five someone. Also I can’t type correctly because my middle finger is sprained/gross/broken-ish.

Of course all that’s on right now is horrendous late night television. Apparently there is a show “I know my kid’s a star” where one Mom yells to another “Yaw daw-ta came affa my daw-ta en if she come affa my daw-ta again imma kick yo’ asss”. Real classy. I wonder if every time people like that end up on TV Darwin rolls over in his grave. As for the kids on that show. I love kids. Not all kids. Not those kids. I’d say sorry but don’t think they’d listen.

These freecreditreport.com commercials - first off it’s not free - are almost as bad as the cnet commercials. The original cnet commercials had an out of shape cave man looking dude basically wind up on some island and I guess start a company. Of course, he lacked this iniative on the mainland, but I guess with his back against the wall he and this fucking monkey (clearly a metaphor for the present day work force) decided they were going to start a company. Cnet, instead of rescuing him left him there. Based on his hippy ass looks I guess his ultra conservative Dad owns a good chunk of cnet and told them to leave him there and leave him there until he started a company.

Anyway, they decided to make some more commercials. One of them has him on the island and he sees a bunch of footprints and calls cnet, tells them the “competition is getting a little close” and wants to learn about network security. Clearly this guy is going to get killed. He should cut the shit and get LOST on dvd. Cnet dude - Jack’s dad probably knows your dad. Tell him to hook you up and GET OFF THE ISLAND. Walt will get you season tickets to the trailblazers. It will be bitchin’.

Guess she read this her foot moved. Nice.

Things I read that should be said out loud.

“We have a serious Dragon problem. Bring your sword.”

Please do the world a favor and say that out loud to 2 or 3 people who would think you’re an idiot for saying that.

These supposedly awesome tissues have lotion on them. The lotion hurts my skin.

Quit putting lotion on tissues I just want to blow my fucking nose.