I stole a copy of “Sky Mall” as I’ve been flying a lot lately. There is a plethora of shit in that magazine. It’s like a crazy cat lady’s attic I swear. But one that travels a LOT.

Anyway, I plan on digging up the funnier products but for now, in the “things I read” vein -

“The latest in ancient technology!”

What?

Ok, clearly not of all time. I’m sure somebody attached sliced bread to an email back in “oh four” or whatever they say.

Anyway.

Subject: A complaint would be entered to Crockett that one man owed another money and refused to pay him.

Body:
What, haven’t you a
watch, miss. he inquired.

I have not just at present–I am about to get a new one.

No.

My response: owned.

Rob said this. To me. Not kidding. Just said it.

“Meh that wizard won’t help you.”

Not making a joke.

Context, though necessary, is not permitted.

Things I read that should be said out loud.

“We have a serious Dragon problem. Bring your sword.”

Please do the world a favor and say that out loud to 2 or 3 people who would think you’re an idiot for saying that.